If that even makes sense .. whatever, it does to me. And the thing is, I can't exactly explain it. I feel i've changed, in a good way, and most of the people I know - that's what they tell me. But one very close person to me, makes me feel bad. Like I'm a bad person, when I'm just trying to help, because I don't like seeing my friends hurt, and I'll save them from that, no matter what it takes. I tell myself this is not my fault, the feelings this certain friend has. That I don't have to worry.. that in the end it will all set right; It will come clear that it hurt me, there will be forgiveness. But maybe, just maybe that will never happen. It's not right to say at this point "stop being with that person if they're not treating you right." That person usually does; one of the people I care the most about .. Amazing, stunning, perfect. But sometimes is hurts .. to feel like they're better and I'm not supposed to be there. I know it's just their way of expression, without knowing it might hurt me. And I can't speak, cause regression comes after everything. I know I'm not a bad person, I know that with all my heart. I just want to rid of this situation.
Serenity. That word is jumping in my head all day long. I feel calm, at peace, and yet I feel stuck. I feel free and trapped.
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